In the course a longish and varied life, I have, not to put too fine a point on it, seen more penises than you could shake a ruler at.
Large, huge, small, tiny, black, pink and yellow, straight, bent, twisted, corkscrew shaped, hanging down, pointing up or sticking straight out, shrinking and growing, soft, hard and somewhere in between, tattooed, pierced, cut and uncut, natural and smooth, one that had been bitten by a ferret (not funny, just stupid), one that was stuck in several folds of wire mesh (funny, but don’t ask!) and a few that defy description.
I say this not to shock or brag, or because I’m a nymphomaniac or a closet urologist. I’ve seen even more lady-parts in my life, but that doesn’t make me one of the Sisters of Sappho. It’s just the way it’s been. I’m sure many ladies of a similar age and background, especially if they’ve been practising naturists since Carter was in the White House could say the same.
The point I’m trying to make—and I’m talking specifically to a minority of my male readers and followers here—is that with such a large and varied repertoire of choppers under my belt, so to speak, I’ve just about seen all there is to see. And unless your todger is solid gold and whistles “Hallelujah” it won’t impress me at all – if indeed that is what you’re trying to do.
What makes you think, then, that I so desperately want to see your pecker that the first thing you do, by way of introduction, is to post or send me a photo of it? I don’t mean to be rude, I really don’t, but what is so special about yours that it’s more important than your face?
Oh dear! I’m going off on one again. I didn’t mean to.
That’s the first of my new year’s resolutions to go up in smoke.
It’s just that I’ve grown tired of clicking on a social media profile and seeing a penis. Sometimes with the rest of the man attached, but basically just a penis, in various states of robustness.
The fact is, boys, that just because I’m a naturist it doesn’t mean that I have to, or want to, see your penis.
I am a naturist. But let’s be clear. Genuine naturism celebrates the whole of the body, not just the giggly parts.
Naturists get naked for pleasure and well-being, and if we happen to be sharing a naturist environment we will see each other naked, and that’s fine because, well – because we’re naturists, and that’s what we do. Similarly we see and share photos of happy fully naked people enjoying a nudist lifestyle and that’s fine too.
But in my opinion seeing others naked and being seen naked yourself isn’t the main point of naturism.
Naturism is much more selfish than that.
In my book I define naturism as “… the enjoyment of getting as naked as possible, wherever appropriate, alone or with others, just for its own sake.” Enjoying naturism means relishing a unique combination of recreational activity, social event, health benefits and environmental philosophy all rolled into one.
And I do it for me. No one else. It makes me feel better, healthier, more relaxed and I can do it alone or with others, as the case maybe.
In other words, my reason for being a naturist is not to show other people my bits but to make me feel better. It’s not important to me that other people see me naked: if it was I’d have become a stripper.
In just the same way I can appreciate the fact that you are a naturist without you sending me a close-up of your credentials to prove it.
If we meet in the street, and I extend my arm to shake your hand I’m sure you wouldn’t dream of plonking your tool in my palm. So why, if you’re contacting me by email or following me on social media, do you think the first thing, indeed in some cases the only thing, I must see is your John Thomas?
It’s not only bad manners, but it’s offensive and, to my mind anyway, labels you as more of an exhibitionist and a lewdist than a naturist – and yes, to my mind there is a difference.
The other thing to think about, if you are indeed a genuine nudist and not just a flasher, is the effect on non-naturists who happen to come across your profile, especially on social media. Society is becoming more puritanical and prudish by the day. Naturists are increasingly coming under the cosh from people who have a mistaken impression of what naturism is about. Many of us have been campaigning hard to overthrow this impression and show naturism as the natural, health giving theraputic activity that it is. Explicit profiles of “nudists “ just reinforce the general public’s already strongly rooted negative prejudices and make our job harder.
Even worse, by association we all get tarred with the same brush.
So, gents. Can I ask you to go easy on the genital selfies? I’m sure yours is wonderful, and I know you’re proud of it, but there must be more to you than just your tallywhacker.
And remember that displaying it immoderately might well have the very opposite effect that you intend.
If you want to say hello that’s fine.
But please, don’t be a complete dick about it.
Have a great new year!